One. More. Semester.

Exams are finally over!!

I turned in my last paper of the semester last night. It's so crazy to think I only have one semester of law school torture left before I can start obsessing over the bar exam. I have to say, as painful as they've been, these three years have just flown by so far.

Exams this semester were pretty awful, I'm not going to lie. I think I finally figured out something more brutal than law school exams in general... taking them while you are nine and a half months pregnant! Ugh. SO glad that's over.

Now I get to wait around for the arrival our new baby in two weeks. Can't freaking wait.

CHAOS IS COMING...

SO, Friday I wake up with no voice - none. Considering the fact that I had an oral argument as my final exam for my Research and Writing class that afternoon, this was a serious problem. There was no way to cancel or re-schedule it so I went through my oral argument as best I could hoping that Professor Research & Writing would feel bad that I sounded so pathetic and give me some sympathy points on my exam grade.

When I got home, I made an appointment with my doc because on top of losing my voice, I was starting to feel all around crappy (nauseaus, headache, nasty cough). The earliest they could get me in was Monday. Monday I went in the appointment in panic mode explaining to the doctor that they HAD to fix me ASAP because I was in the midst of law school exams and I couldn't stand one more second of being sick for it. They did a couple tests to try and figure out what my problem was...

Diagnosis? PREGNANT.

Best Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup white sugar

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 egg

1 cup all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips



1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cream together butter, vanilla, and egg in medium bowl. Add flour, baking soda, and salt; mix. Add oats and chocolate chips; stir until evenly distributed. Drop by tablespoons onto lightly greased cookie sheet.

3. Bake 10-12 minutes.

Reasons Why My Son is the Cutest

1. He says "awfuls" instead of "waffles".

2. He says "cheese" instead of "geez". Example: "Cheese mom, stop kissing me!"

3. He can get a good hit if you throw him a baseball.

4. He comes home speaking Spanglish after visiting my parents.

5. He is always so concerned about people/animals.

6. He uses the word "though" correctly.

7. He's a better negotiater than Mr.

8. He has Mr.'s pretty blue eyes.

9. He's better at math than I am.

10. He's very competitive. And when you play a game with him, he'll tell you "I'm going to win and you're going to be LOST!"

Lucky.

Lots of my classmates are from out of state. Today, I was having a conversation with one of them and she was nearly in tears talking about how homesick she is with all her friends and family so far away. I couldn't help but feel bad for her. Law school can be so isolating. Day after day, you are completely consumed with reading and studying. For someone who moves away from home and lives by themself, I can see how you would get really lonely living the life of a 1L.

Sometimes, in the deep corners of my mind, I question my decision to get married and start a family before starting law school. Balancing work, life, and family is downright overwhelming and can seem impossible at times. Wouldn't it have been so much easier to have finished school first? I'm sure in a lot of ways it would have been.

But then I think about what makes me happiest in my life... and that's my family. Every morning when I wake up before the sun comes up, it's them I say good morning to. When I have a bad day at school and come home cursing about my bitchy classmates, I know my husband really cares about what happened (unless there is an important game on, but he'll at least pretend).

I'm so LUCKY to have them here with me. Law school effects them too and I'm so happy to have my support system right here in the trenches with me :) They make me the luckiest 1L ever.

Aww

JV: I love you mommy. Do you love me?

Mrs: Yes, I love you very much.
JV: Okay. Hold me and kiss me on the cheek.

Isnt my son the cutest?!

Dream Come True v. Happily Ever After

I have done some serious soul searching throughout the law school admissions process over the past year. It seems that being an ambitous woman in my mid twenties has led me to a major fork in the road on my journey through life.

If I take one path, I am promised a life where I can be a stay at home mom who bakes cookies all day and is a domestic goddess. I could have more babies, be a soccer mom, and spend my afternoons at playdates with mom friends and babies. I could join the PTA. I would never have to miss an episode of Oprah (yayy). My husband would be thrilled because I could concentrate on being a good wife (cooking, cleaning, taking care of his...uh... "needs"). My son would be happy because he could spend more time playing with mommy and we could finally give him that little brother he's been asking for.

If I take the other path, then I'll continue chasing the dreams I've been dreaming since as long as I can remember. I'll graduate law school, pass the bar, and settle into a succesful law practice. I will be overworked, stressed out, and have obscene amounts of student loans. They'll be fights between me and Mr. because my lack of attention to his uh... "needs". I'll miss teeball games and important moments in my son's life because I'll be too busy studying or working. I will run myself ragged and have no time for myself, ever. Having another baby will be completely out of the question and people will (continue to) frown when asking me "But how do you find time to be a mom and wife if youre going to law school?"

I must be crazy to want to continue down this path I've embarked on, but I'm starting law school in August anyway. I feel like entering the legal profession is comparable to opening up Pandora's Box for someone who has so many roles they already need to fill. I have an amazing, hot, sweet husband who is more than happy to bring home the bacon while I tend to the kiddies. Most women would jump at the offer. But as much as I love my family, I need... more. I need to be something besides a mother and wife; I need to be true to myself.

I just want to be a lawyer, dammit.

No fair. Why does it feel like I have to give up my happily ever after for a dream come true?