I have done some serious soul searching throughout the law school admissions process over the past year. It seems that being an ambitous woman in my mid twenties has led me to a major fork in the road on my journey through life.
If I take one path, I am promised a life where I can be a stay at home mom who bakes cookies all day and is a domestic goddess. I could have more babies, be a soccer mom, and spend my afternoons at playdates with mom friends and babies. I could join the PTA. I would never have to miss an episode of Oprah (yayy). My husband would be thrilled because I could concentrate on being a good wife (cooking, cleaning, taking care of his...uh... "needs"). My son would be happy because he could spend more time playing with mommy and we could finally give him that little brother he's been asking for.
If I take the other path, then I'll continue chasing the dreams I've been dreaming since as long as I can remember. I'll graduate law school, pass the bar, and settle into a succesful law practice. I will be overworked, stressed out, and have obscene amounts of student loans. They'll be fights between me and Mr. because my lack of attention to his uh... "needs". I'll miss teeball games and important moments in my son's life because I'll be too busy studying or working. I will run myself ragged and have no time for myself, ever. Having another baby will be completely out of the question and people will (continue to) frown when asking me "But how do you find time to be a mom and wife if youre going to law school?"
I must be crazy to want to continue down this path I've embarked on, but I'm starting law school in August anyway. I feel like entering the legal profession is comparable to opening up Pandora's Box for someone who has so many roles they already need to fill. I have an amazing, hot, sweet husband who is more than happy to bring home the bacon while I tend to the kiddies. Most women would jump at the offer. But as much as I love my family, I need... more. I need to be something besides a mother and wife; I need to be true to myself.
I just want to be a lawyer, dammit.
No fair. Why does it feel like I have to give up my happily ever after for a dream come true?